Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You took a bar mat shot.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize