Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
