Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
