You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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