I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Randomize
