At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
