I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you would pick up someone in the library
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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