Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize