just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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