Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
