Pappa wants mamma naked
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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