no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
