the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
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