Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
