operation harelip BJ is a go
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
