My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
