i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Semen is not good for contacts.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
