I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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