Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize