bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize