This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
