take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
