You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
