so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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