How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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