i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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