I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
