Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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