my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
