You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
