she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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