I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
