i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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