I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
