She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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