I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
