I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize