forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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