He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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