i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
