My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
my being single is dangerous.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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