I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
