Non-Jews are for practice
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
