I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
