sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
