i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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