i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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