Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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