I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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