Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I am naked and annoyed.
Drunk is not a location!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
