nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
