so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We need to get me chipped asap
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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