i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize