I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
