It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
