even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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