you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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