hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
