Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
