We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
