so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
