whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
